Tweeter and the Monkey Man

He's An Elf, Right?

Jimmy and Tweeter arrange a meeting as Tweeter has interesting work for the group at large. This arrangement is a bit difficult due to the previously evening’s festivities. While contacting Gurn isn’t difficult, Louis...

Is struggling with the morning. Waking up in a strange place is one thing, but looking like he went three rounds with a bus (cracked tooth, black-eye, gouged knuckes, cracked ribs and scrapes all over his back) is completely different. On the plus side, Olga is quite lovely and helps 3Fingers to get clean… shaving turns out not to be an option though.
While trying to sort out the damage from the evening before, Olga fills him in. He is at the Siberian Axe club house, and Lewis has picked a fight with a fellow named Lief. Many of the Axe are very impressed with Lewis as Lief is about 30% metal and while Lewis lost badly he was very game. The clubhouse is quite welcoming and feeds Louis up nicely and Lief (who is missing a few teeth himself) gives Louis a ride to downtown on his Indian.

The group converges on the Ivanhoe to meet Tweeter. Jimmy is consoled by a bartender and a bouncer for an outburst of the night before, “I can’t poop!”. They are very understanding.
Tweeter arrives, resplendent in a scarlet and yellow cocktail dress that injures out protagonists’ par-broiled heads. Without much ado, Tweeter insists that they head to meet Mr. Johnson at a local restaurant, Rasputin.

As the only clients of the restaurant Mr. Johnson (a very Slavic gentleman) feeds everyone on a vast amount of; perogy, vodka, halapchi, vodka, borcht, vodka, fish, vodka and roast meat with vodka.
While softening up the team with calories and liquor, the contract is offered. Mr. Johnson’s boss’s wife would like to have one of Queen Mary’s (of Scots) necklaces. This necklace is presently on display on the Queen Mary III, which is visiting a classic boat show in Seattle. The agreed upon price is 5% of the appraised value with 10K UCAS up front.

The QM III was re-purposed about 50 years ago into a cultural event venue from a formal cruise ship. It is registered out of Amazonia displays many 100 tons with a beam greater than 350m and a 40m beam. It has maintained a standard shape although a formal museum is a fixed component and some of the cabin spaces have been re-fitted for event spaces.

Once Louis arranges for some useful ID (SINLess), the trip to Seattle via ferry is uneventful. Nor is the rental of a car. Well, the customs agent looks at the scan of Jimmy and recommends that he visit a doctor since his colon is very blocked up, in fact he gives Jimmy a contact to his cousin a well recognized Naturopath.
Since the timing worked well, a brief reconnaissance of the QMIII was undertaken. Jimmy made acquaintance of Mary the curator. They talked briefly about a set of classic English long bows on secondary display.

The next day they arrive at the QMIII to enjoy their restaurant breakfast. Jimmy meeting the maitre d’, swiftly bribes his way into the evenings black tie event. Mary diverts Jimmy from the herd and seduction happens (Mary is a lass who knows who she wants). During this time Jimmy gets some idea of the jewel’s security and that Mary will be a core component.
To prepare for the evening tuxedos are acquired (Lewis’ is purchased due to his size) and a Jimmy visits the naturopath. The Doctor, is immediately concerned for Jimmy’s welfare and helps sort out the problem. It seems that Jimmy’s present medication when used in excess can cause the GI tract to near paralyze. Relief for Jimmy doesn’t mean his work is over, he convinces the naturopath to give him some herbal remedies, wormwood. The receptionist practically rapes Jimmy while filling his prescription, leaving him wandering out stunned looking like he had been eating donuts.


A storm rises throughout the afternoon.

The group show up at the black-tie affair and present themselves as a wealthy gentleman (Jimmy) and his bodyguards (Lewis and Gurn). The security is laughable as the pat down lets them through without comment.
After a bit of party maneuvering, Mary (decked out in a lovely scarlet gown) swoops down to monopolize Jimmy. Jimmy repays the favour by dosing her with wormwood and alcohol. As Mary is suggesting that they repair to a more private place, a wave slaps across the deck. Gurn uses his coat and body to shield everyone from the spray. Which leaves him going to a washroom to clean up while everyone else goes to the display room.

As Mary starts to succumb to the wormwood and a bottle of whiskey Jimmy liberated, they trail up to the display room (catching a security guard along the way). Lewis and the guard are left out side of the display room (for privacy). Jimmy spikes the whiskey liberally with his wormwood concoction. Which backfires as he finds out that Mary feels he isn’t keeping up to her drinking and is only wearing a pair of heels.
Staggering, Jimmy looks with shock as Mary put on the necklace and proceeds to get very aggressive. Breaking a whiskey bottle and menacing a now hallucinating Jimmy.
Security, seeing this on their feeds, assumes something is afoot. Gurn is accosted by a shotgun wielding officer. After a brief tussle, Gurn manages to shoot out a fire alarm and the stand pipes filling the ship with water. Upstairs Lewis tangles at close range with the security guard, effectively using him as a meat shield from the other approaching guard, while Jimmy defends himself from Mary.
Rushing up the stairs Gurn fires at a security officer and manages to short out a power cable, killing the guard and stunning Gurn before the breakers crack. Gurn attempts to fire again and is knocked to the base of the stairs as his shotgun explodes. During this time, Lewis struggles yet succeeds in dispatching the pair of guards while Jimmy removes the necklace from the now weakly protesting Mary (it is worth mentioning the Jimmy is fighting through a lot of hallucinations).

As Jimmy leaves, Mary manages to find her carotid with the broken bottle. This coats Jimmy in a spray of blood and pushes him further into dementia.
3Fingers is forced to carry a heavily injured Gurn while guiding an increasingly strange Jimmy as the police and fire agencies are descending upon the Queen Mary. Surrounded, 3Fingers takes the only way out he can see and throws his partners 4 stories to the water below and then follows into the sea water.
While Jimmy can tread water, Gurn hit massively badly and is unable to manage. Lewis, while an excellent athlete, needs to struggle as anaphalactic shock sets in from his exposure to sea water. He manages to tow everyone onto a nearby wharf as his body goes crazy.

With Lewis shivering, sightless and having issue breathing; Gurn conscious but in staggering pain; Jimmy finds a first aid kit in a local wharf office. To which Gurn deals with Lewis’ shock and doses himself with enough stimulants to keep going.

As the only person with reasonable clothing, Jimmy forces himself to go and reclaim their car. However a concerned police officer bars his way (Jimmy is having a severe reality dysfunction), in a fugue Jimmy knifes him to death. With the car in hand, Jimmy picks up the rest of the team and gets the now unconscious Gurn and Lewis to a coffin hotel for the evening.

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Denis Denis

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